Today I went in search of a bank. I need to set up a checking account. The problem is, most all of them require a monthly maintenance fee or direct deposit. Since I don’t have a job yet, direct deposit isn’t an option, and my limited funds make me wary of accounts with maintenance charges. Yeah, I know. What am I doing moving to a new city with no job and no job prospects?

Well, there’s only so much you can take. I woke up one day and said, “I’m a security guard. I can do this anywhere. Why am I still here in Kansas City?” So I decided to move back to Georgia. I put myself in the best financial situation I could, paying off my student loans and moving in with a friend, but the Big Ugly still remains: ya gotta have a job.

I transferred my employment records with the Major National Security Firm to the branch office in Atlanta, but even if I’m technically on the payroll, I don’t get any money until they have an opening to give me work. So, if they don’t have anything available by Monday, I’m going to have to start some serious jobhunting.

Not that I’m that picky about what job I get. I worked as a garbage collector one summer, and I doubt I’ll ever work a dirtier or more disgusting job. As a street sweeper, I drove a truck that vacuumed trash up off parking lots, and then I emptied the trash cans in front of the stores in the strip malls. The worst part about it wasn’t the smell, it was the ants. Every time I tried to tie up the garbage bags, they’d swarm up my arms and bite me. Oh, and when it rained, the outside garbage cans would fill with water. I couldn’t just tip the cans over (they were attached to the ground to prevent theft), so I had to lift the bags out before I could drain the water. Now, water weighs eight lbs. to the gallon, and after a hard rain, these cans would have three or more gallons of water in them. Most plastic trash bags aren’t designed for that kind of weight, and several times the bags would split open just as I got them out of the cans, drenching me with the foulest-smelling liquid you can imagine. And then I had to pick up all the pieces of garbage by hand and put them in a new bag.

It wasn’t intolerable. Except for my spit, which was always black because of the dust I breathed when I would clean the sidewalks with a leafblower (also part of my job). Whenever I tell this story, people always comment, “Oh, I’ll bet you made a lot of money, though.” Actually, I didn’t. Eight dollars an hour. A friend gave me the job as a favor, and I was lucky to get it. When another position opened up (doing the same thing), he had over 200 applicants the first day he put the ad out. And to top it off, it was the summer after I had earned my Masters degree, and I was kind of hoping for a job that was a little more . . . better-smelling, I guess.

Anyway, if I can do that, I can do anything. Still, though, I’m hoping to find something that won’t make me work weekends (like my last job did) – I’m really looking forward to joining a good church.