The Wheel of Fortune turns.
Last week I had an interview with the Vice President of a small Christian college. He offered me a job as professor of English, beginning in a couple of weeks. It came from out of nowhere – Dann forwarded me an email he’d received, which said that the college was desperate for an English teacher and willing to look at applicants who only had a Masters degree. I emailed them my resume. They mailed me an application. I filled in the application and mailed it back. They invited me for an interview. I went. They offered me the job. I took it. Total time: just over two weeks.
The Wheel of Fortune turns.
Just a few weeks ago, I was looking at spending another year as a computer technician – not a bad job, but one I am not suited for in temperament. For the first time in my life, I was facing a Christmas with only one day off. I was desperately trying to put together some applications for graduate school in the few minutes of free time I have during the week after I get in from work. Now I can put that aside; I now have a job doing what I have always dreamed of doing – teaching English. Certainly not making as much money as I could teaching at a larger school, but making a heckuva lot more than I’m making now, and for working only nine months of the year.
The Wheel of Fortune turns.
I went to the interview after work, and when I finally got home, it was nearly 1 a.m. Going north on I-75, I was jubilantly celebrating in my car when the cars around me suddenly slowed. Then I saw what they saw: on the right-hand side of the road, a car had drifted into the right-of-way and slammed directly into a concrete barrier. The car was engulfed in flames from bumper to fender. I slowed down as I passed, and even three lanes away, I could feel the heat. I assume the driver died; the door was closed, there were no emergency vehicles on the scene yet, and there wasn’t anybody anywhere outside the car.
The Wheel of Fortune turns.
That driver didn’t think that he would die that day, not when he woke up that morning. Certainly I expect to live out my fourscore years, but what if I don’t? What if I died tomorrow? What if my “Life’s Work” is already behind me? The last few years have been pretty hard on my dreams, and I haven’t known when – if ever – I would finally get to do what I’ve always longed to do. The only comfort I have found is in an eternal perspective – which, ironically enough, focuses me on the immediate. It is good to find work that is suited to me, that I find fulfilling, but if I don’t, that does not mean my life is wasted. The thing that matters is, am I living moment-by-moment in the presence of Jesus, and offering my labor (whatever it is) to his glory? Am I caring for the less fortunate? The only way I have kept depression at bay the last few years is by saying, “Now, I love you, Jesus. This moment I worship you.” It is the only way I have been able to know for sure that I have lived the last few years, and not merely existed; that I have gained something from the time I spent, and not merely wasted it.
The Wheel of Fortune turns, and it will keep on turning. For the first time in several years, my fortunes are on the rise, instead of on the fall. What I have learned, though, is that the Wheel is meaningless, a “chasing after the wind.” Nothing that counts is ever measured on, or affected by, the Wheel.
Last week I had an interview with the Vice President of a small Christian college. He offered me a job as professor of English, beginning in a couple of weeks. It came from out of nowhere – Dann forwarded me an email he’d received, which said that the college was desperate for an English teacher and willing to look at applicants who only had a Masters degree. I emailed them my resume. They mailed me an application. I filled in the application and mailed it back. They invited me for an interview. I went. They offered me the job. I took it. Total time: just over two weeks.
The Wheel of Fortune turns.
Just a few weeks ago, I was looking at spending another year as a computer technician – not a bad job, but one I am not suited for in temperament. For the first time in my life, I was facing a Christmas with only one day off. I was desperately trying to put together some applications for graduate school in the few minutes of free time I have during the week after I get in from work. Now I can put that aside; I now have a job doing what I have always dreamed of doing – teaching English. Certainly not making as much money as I could teaching at a larger school, but making a heckuva lot more than I’m making now, and for working only nine months of the year.
The Wheel of Fortune turns.
I went to the interview after work, and when I finally got home, it was nearly 1 a.m. Going north on I-75, I was jubilantly celebrating in my car when the cars around me suddenly slowed. Then I saw what they saw: on the right-hand side of the road, a car had drifted into the right-of-way and slammed directly into a concrete barrier. The car was engulfed in flames from bumper to fender. I slowed down as I passed, and even three lanes away, I could feel the heat. I assume the driver died; the door was closed, there were no emergency vehicles on the scene yet, and there wasn’t anybody anywhere outside the car.
The Wheel of Fortune turns.
That driver didn’t think that he would die that day, not when he woke up that morning. Certainly I expect to live out my fourscore years, but what if I don’t? What if I died tomorrow? What if my “Life’s Work” is already behind me? The last few years have been pretty hard on my dreams, and I haven’t known when – if ever – I would finally get to do what I’ve always longed to do. The only comfort I have found is in an eternal perspective – which, ironically enough, focuses me on the immediate. It is good to find work that is suited to me, that I find fulfilling, but if I don’t, that does not mean my life is wasted. The thing that matters is, am I living moment-by-moment in the presence of Jesus, and offering my labor (whatever it is) to his glory? Am I caring for the less fortunate? The only way I have kept depression at bay the last few years is by saying, “Now, I love you, Jesus. This moment I worship you.” It is the only way I have been able to know for sure that I have lived the last few years, and not merely existed; that I have gained something from the time I spent, and not merely wasted it.
The Wheel of Fortune turns, and it will keep on turning. For the first time in several years, my fortunes are on the rise, instead of on the fall. What I have learned, though, is that the Wheel is meaningless, a “chasing after the wind.” Nothing that counts is ever measured on, or affected by, the Wheel.
posted by Mark at 8/07/2004 11:03:00 PM
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