The interstates around Atlanta have these large billboard-like signs over the roads with lights that make up letters. Usually they say things like “Exit 15, 6.5 miles ahead. Estimated travel time: 8-9 minutes.” When there’s a weather alert warning or something, they change it to, “Bridges freeze before roads” or something like that. They also post traffic accident reports. Today, on the way to work, I was coming down I-75 and the sign read: “Major accident on I-285 Eastbound. Avoid taking I-285.” How convenient! The sign, I mean, not the accident. So, I went down an exit, took out my map at the stoplight, and plotted a secondary route to work.

I’ve been noticing, though, that some days I can speed right on through to and from work, but when there’s an accident, there’s the possibility that I’ll be seriously delayed. I’m going to start getting up earlier, just in case. I’ll take along a book to read if I get to work early. (What I’m currently reading: Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer Training Guide: Windows NT 4 Exams. 1600 pages. Eat that.)

I have a bag of Holiday M&M’s that I keep right here on my desk under my monitor. Every year at Christmas, the Holiday M&M’s come out. They’re special because they’re only in two colors: red and green, unlike the normal rainbow-variety that you get during the rest of the year. This year, I noticed that they have two distinct shades of green, which technically gives Holiday M&M’s three colors. We’ll see whether Upper Management decides to do it again next Christmas.

Holiday M&M’s are special to me because they have a lot of green ones. Green ones have always been the rarest and most special of the M&M’s, not like those ubiquitous boring brown ones. When I was little, I used to save the green ones and store them in a special air-tight container in my closet. Whenever I was sad and feeling bad, I’d break them out and eat a few. They actually kept remarkably well for a number of years.

It wasn’t until high school that I heard the urban legend about the “green ones” being aphrodisiacs (!!). It seems that the M&M/Mars company heard that legend too, since one of their commercials a few years ago made the comment, “You know what they say about the green ones . . .” with raised eyebrows and knowing looks traded between the commercial actors. Of course, it could have been an entirely different urban legend they were referring to, one I never heard of, like, “Green ones make you go insane,” or “Green ones contain chemicals that sterilize you.” You never know about these urban legends: they change around depending on where you heard it.

Fortunately, though, it looks like urban legends are finally becoming standardized. This is due largely to the influence of email in transmitting them. Now, instead of relying on faulty memory to transmit a legend through oral reconstruction, you can just hit “forward” on your email, and be sure that everybody in your address book receives it exactly as you received it (plus a few “>>” marks, of course).

Hooray for technology!