I have discovered something about myself: I have no mercy; I am pitiless, heartless, and cruel.

In the six semesters that I have taught here:

I have failed three children of my friends.

I have failed two particular students four times (each).

I have failed a graduating senior, who did not graduate because of my class.

This past semester I failed a single mother and a young man whose father died.

To my students, past and future: Neither your position, nor your effort, nor your personal tragedy entitle you to a passing grade. There is only one way to pass this class: turn in passing work, on time. I have one loyalty: to the English language, to make sure you can use it with facility.

Having said that, last semester I gave out four times as many A's and B's as I gave out D's and F's on the final paper.

Make of that what you will.